“One of the unhelpful thinking traps that people fall into is ‘shoulds’: I should be doing this; I should be doing that. It can feel like a lot of pressure.”
The expectations placed on women, by others and themselves, can be tiresome and, at times, isolating.
For many young adult women, the transitional period of young adulthood can make challenges feel even more intense. For those on a therapeutic journey, this often means navigating not only their mental health but also the weight of gendered roles and societal ‘shoulds’ that feel impossible to escape.
Women’s Process Group is a single-gender group therapy program that provides members with an opportunity to safely discuss, explore, and process issues directly related to women’s socio-emotional needs. It’s a space where young women can pause, share experiences, and reduce the isolation that often impacts mental health.
We sat down with Chloe Weinstein, LMSW, therapist at The Dorm NYC, who leads our Women’s Process Group, to discuss why a group like this is so critical for young adults, the common themes that arise amongst women in their 20s, and how peer support can help reduce isolation and support mental health recovery.
Key Article Takeaways
For someone just learning about our care, what is the Women’s Process Group, and why does it exist at The Dorm?
Chloe Weinstein, LMSW: At The Dorm, we have different single-gender options for processing groups, including:
- Women’s Process
- Men’s Process
- Transgender Non-Binary Process
These types of groups allow individuals who may resonate and share certain experiences to come together, explore, and process issues that feel important to them and their identities.
In Women’s Process, we cover a variety of topics, some of which may be very specific to women (such as women’s health and concerns, or the way in which politics affect women), and some of which may be more general like relationships, dating, body image, family responsibilities, and self-worth.
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This group meets once a week for 50 minutes, and I co-faciliate with clinical intern, Isabelle Mercado. The typical structure starts with all group members answering a brief series of check-in questions, the last of which is “Is there something you want to process?”
Some will say “yes,” and for those who do, we’ll leave an open space at the end of the check-in for those who need to process and share what’s on their minds.
What are the benefits of a Women’s Process Group? Why does this space feel so important, not just in general but for young adults in particular?
Facilitating this group has been especially interesting because, in a way, it’s a reflection of what it means to be a woman in your 20s.
Something that we discuss when we think about CBT and cognitive restructuring is that one of the unhelpful thinking traps that people fall into is, ‘should’ statements: I should be doing this; I should be doing that.
Maybe I’m biased as a woman, but I think the amount of ‘shoulds’ women carry feels impossible to keep up with and are always changing. It can seem impossible to knock them all off the list. So, when somebody identifies as a woman and now they are also in treatment, the ‘shoulds’ can feel especially difficult to manage.
How does one move forward?
That’s where the normalization that we bring into this space can allow clients a moment to just breathe, reflect, and also realize that being in treatment may be the best thing for them at this time. Just because their current path looks different from what they hoped or expected, doesn’t mean it can’t still be full of hope.
This group can also serve as a powerful gender-affirming space for individuals who have transitioned into womanhood, empowering them to be present and involved in conversations relevant to their gender.
“Women’s Process is a group where I don’t have to performatively be a woman — we have the gender commonality so we just get to be people…”
– Client
Are there any general topics or themes that often come up?
There are a few recurring themes that are explored in the Women’s Process Group. Family roles and responsibilities are a big one, including the amount of weight that we assign to different roles in the birth order or what parents might expect of their daughter over their son.
Body image is another recurring topic. We talk about the interference of social media and what it means to reach a place of body neutrality. We also discuss relationships, sex, dating, health, family relationships, and self-worth.
A really valuable topic that has also come up is what it means to take up space. There are some clients that have felt for most, or all, of their lives that they are invisible, or, if not invisible, that people have made them feel small. There may be physical or mental trauma involved and sometimes a lot of anger. It can be helpful and supportive to have members of the group come together to discuss what it means to take up and reclaim space in life.
For so many clients, it’s meaningful to explore and recognize where certain beliefs came from and recognize how deeply rooted they are in sexism, patriarchal ideas of femininity, and the expectations that have been placed on women by longstanding systems and structures. To sit in a space where other people are agreeing with you and make you feel seen on these points – it can really alleviate or eliminate isolation.
This is why I love the group because I’m sitting there and I find myself thinking: this is it, this is what it’s all about.
It’s incredibly moving.
“Women’s Process is a place where being a woman and exploring the nuances we feel and the deeper woman-related experiences is normalized. It takes the pressure off of sharing and explaining yourself because you already know people will understand you.”
– Client
Can you share a little bit about what role you place as the group facilitator? How do you create a safe and supportive environment for processing in the group?
For new members of Women’s Process Group, something that I try to do, and I include this as part of my intro, is say: “if you’re processing, it could be helpful at the end of your process to say what you’re looking for from the group.”
I do this because sometimes — and I think this might be a very common experience — you’re just hoping to vent to someone and then you’re met with problem solving. It’s important to clarify what you’re looking for because venting can be therapeutically helpful in its own way, especially before moving to problem solving. I want the clients to dictate how they want the group to go for themselves, especially when sharing, so that the feedback they’re receiving is directly relevant to what they’re looking for.
Since this is very much a women-supporting-women environment, group members usually sneak in a lot of their own compliments acknowledging others for opening up and how brave and difficult that can be, particularly in a space that may still feel full of new peers.
In fact, some of the most successful Women’s Process Group days are the ones in which I talk very little — there’s a flow where clients are doing what they need to for each other. The guardrails have been set, the norms and the structure is there — and the clients are able to go where they need to for each other.
That all being said, there are some times where I step in to redirect or reset expectations. I stay mindful of triggers and sensitive information, and encourage clients to focus on their feelings and thoughts on situations rather than provide specific details so that we can keep it a safe environment for all.
“Women’s Process is one of the only groups I feel comfortable crying in because it’s not a judgmental space. People there will be honest with you and offer real suggestions.”
– Client
Why is a group like this important in mental health treatment?
Something that is often brought up, and that I touched on a bit earlier, is this idea of isolation.
There was one day where a few different clients opened up about how they were feeling disconnected and lonely, and about how difficult it can be to make friends while in treatment or to maintain previous friendships due to mental health struggles. At the end of the session, I said, “It sounds like there are a lot of people who are struggling with similar challenges here, and at this point, you’ve already gotten over one of the hardest parts, which is opening up and being vulnerable in a space with relatively new people who you didn’t grow up with, who you don’t share a very specific background with. The Dorm exists as a community-based program for people to make connections, and I hope you can all lean on each other outside of this room too.”
After that group session, clients shared contact information with each other and made plans for the week, which was special to see because it really is the goal here.
“Women’s Process gives me a safe space to get to know people at The Dorm and meet women who would support me.”
– Client
What makes you most proud about this group?
I have to say, I really do love and have a lot of pride in the Women’s Process group. I run three groups at The Dorm and this is a group that feels especially meaningful to be a part of. I feel genuinely lucky to sit there and see the growth over time as group members share in such an open way.
This group is something that connects with previous work and school experience I’ve had growing up. When I was a teenager, I co-started my school’s Feminist Club and ran it for a few years before passing it on. In undergrad, I joined the Feminist Club as a freshman and then became the co-president of it my junior year. So, for as long as I can remember I have cared about these topics. I honestly wish I could just bring everyone in my life into this kind of group. It’s just wonderful.
Thank you, Chloe, for sitting down with us for this interview and sharing your insight!
Women’s Process Group at The Dorm
Women’s Process Group is just one example of the affirming, identity-based spaces we create at The Dorm. We offer various processing groups with flexible scheduling for young adults to connect with peers, build community, and develop critical social and emotional skills in supportive therapeutic environments.
Whether you’re a young adult seeking support or a parent exploring treatment options, we’re here to help. Learn more about who we treat and our unique community model.
