Young adults today are experiencing higher rates of loneliness than other age groups. According to the American Psychiatric Association, 30% of 18-34 year olds reporting feelings of loneliness every day or multiple times a week, and the United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has declared loneliness a public health crisis. What has been dubbed “The Loneliness Epidemic” by a variety of media outlets is now becoming a worldwide concern.
At The Dorm, many of our clients struggle with profound feelings of loneliness and isolation, as well as the symptoms that are associated with it, including anxiety, depression, substance use, and self harm. As a mental health treatment center serving young adults specifically, a core pillar of our model is the belief that community helps clients sustain long term recovery through a supportive network – and our community model has helped clients see a reduction of anxiety and depression symptoms of up to 35%, and an increase in overall well-being and enjoyment of life by 138%.
That’s why we were grateful to have collaborated with The Austen Riggs Center, an organization that has focused extensively on loneliness as a public health crisis. During a two-part presentation, the event drew over 1,400 registrants from 47 states and beyond, fostering an incredible sense of engagement and deep conversations across our therapeutic community. The following conversations uncovered essential insights into the complex issue of loneliness in young adulthood today. Below, we provide a summary of the two-part event with some key insights, along with the entirety of the recorded presentations.
Part 1: Young Adults & Social Connectedness
Defining Loneliness
Director of Research at the Austen Riggs Center, Katie C. Lewis, PhD, began by defining loneliness as part of a normal human experience. For many, it’s a temporary feeling that ebbs and flows, but when prolonged, loneliness can lead to a host of negative outcomes, including impaired cognitive functioning, disrupted sleep, and an increased risk for mental health issues. Some research has even found that a lack of social connection can increase risk of premature death, at levels comparable to daily smoking.
Dr. Lewis referenced leading researchers in the field, Dr. Louise Hawkley and Dr. John Cacioppo, who describe loneliness as “a distressing feeling that accompanies the perception that one’s social needs are not being met by the quality or quantity of one’s social relationships.”
Put simply, loneliness is a social connection deficit – the absence of a sense of belonging.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Loneliness
A key focus of Dr. Lewis’s presentation was how attachment styles shape our experiences with loneliness. Attachment theory, as Dr. Lewis defines, argues that emotional bonds with caregivers during infancy interact with infant temperament to influence the development of emotion regulation capacities, personality traits, and social behaviors throughout the lifespan. Thus, if the emotional bond with the caregiver is unstable during infancy, it may lead to the development of an insecure style of attachment which will affect future relationships.
Dr. Lewis explained the two main types of insecure attachment, anxious and avoidant attachment, which manifest as an over- or under-reliance in emotional intimacy, respectively. Either side in extremity can be detrimental to the overall relationship. And like loneliness, anxious and avoidant attachment also develop through problems in the fulfillment of emotional needs.
Research conducted at Austen Riggs during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic has shown that both anxious and avoidant attachment styles are linked with greater vulnerability to loneliness, as well as a higher frequency of suicidal ideation. Dr. Lewis emphasized the need, in clinical and non-clinical settings, to give individuals the opportunity to describe their feelings in their own words, as each individual experiences relationship attachment and loneliness differently.
Do you or a loved one need help with mental health?
The Dorm is here.
Loneliness and Emerging Adulthood
Dr. Lewis continued the presentation by situating loneliness in the context of young adulthood, one of the most vulnerable periods for loneliness along with old age. Emerging adulthood, defined by researcher Jeffrey Arnett, marks the phase between ages 18 to the early 30s. It is a time of significant transitions, such as finishing education, entering the workforce, and forming mature romantic relationships.
These milestones often involve a shift towards greater independence and self-discovery, but along with independence comes disrupted communities, routines, and family life.
Chronic loneliness during this time can disrupt young adults’ personal development, impeding their ability to cope with life’s demands and build resilience. Those with secure attachment styles tend to navigate these challenges more smoothly, while individuals with insecure attachment may struggle more intensely with the uncertainties that come with adulthood and be more vulnerable to the symptoms of loneliness.
The Pandemic’s Impact
The COVID-19 pandemic has only intensified feelings of loneliness. According to Dr. Lewis’s ongoing research, many young adults missed significant milestones, such as graduations, weddings, and social activities, which deepened their sense of isolation. On the positive side, many who re-engaged with their communities post-pandemic saw improvements in their well-being. Rejoining clubs or reestablishing social routines has proven helpful for those trying to reconnect with others.
In sharing people’s stories, it is clear that missing out on these important milestones and connections has led to feelings of social isolation and loneliness, as found throughout all age groups.
Part II: Therapeutic Solutions and Community Building
Ways to think about Loneliness in a Therapeutic Context
In the second part of the presentation, Erin Seery, MD, and Seth Pitman, PhD, of Austen Riggs’ Online IOP, focused on therapeutic solutions for treating loneliness in young adults. Dr. Seery began the conversation noting that loneliness is a complex emotion that cannot be fully addressed through a biomedical model alone, which often reduces emotions to symptoms needing medication. Instead, a more humanistic approach—one that acknowledges the emotional and psychological dimensions of loneliness—is necessary.
“As a psychiatrist, it can get complicated because modern psychiatry, influenced by the biomedical revolution, tends to reduce symptoms to characteristics of a disorder,” said Dr. Seery. “This often leads to more concrete treatments, like medications or biomedical interventions. However, this approach overlooks the complexity of issues like loneliness, which is more than just a set of symptoms.”
Understanding the “Gap” in Social Connection
Dr. Seery went on to highlight the importance of exploring the gap between desired and actual levels of social connection in young adults. Therapists must seek to understand why their clients’ relationships are unfulfilling, and ask them to identify all of the emotions surrounding the “gap” between their desired and actual levels of connection.
Identifying Feelings Surrounding Loneliness
For instance, loneliness can often be linked to feelings of fear or anxiety about personal flaws, which individuals believe hinder their ability to connect with others. (And this can be exacerbated by shame surrounding a mental health disorder.) Helping clients articulate these emotions can demystify the loneliness experience, open up new ideas for treatment, and open pathways to more fulfilling relationships.
Loneliness as a Biological Urge
Drawing from a New York Times Magazine article, Why is the Loneliness Epidemic so Hard to Cure?, Dr. Seery also suggested thinking of loneliness as a “biological urge, akin to hunger.” While hunger prompts us to seek food, loneliness drives us to seek connection. Destigmatizing loneliness by framing it as a basic human need can make it easier to address in therapy.
The Role of the Therapist
Erik Erikson’s “Trapeze Artist” and “Reciever”
Dr. Seth Pitman continued the presentation with a quote from Dr. Erik Erikson, which explores loneliness within the context of emerging adulthood, a period marked by uncertainty and major life transitions.
“Like a trapeze artist, the young person in the middle of vigorous motion must let go of his safe hold on childhood and reach out for a firm grasp on adulthood, depending for a breathless interval on a relatedness between the past and the future, and on the reliability of those he must let go of, and those who will “receive” him… [and] he must detect some meaningful resemblance between what he has come to see in him- self and what his sharpened awareness tells him others judge and expect him to be.” -Dr. Erik Erickson
Dr. Pitman likens the role of a therapist to the “receiver” and describes how important it is to form trust within the therapeutic relationship within the first sessions, and even minutes, of meeting new young adult clients. Only after that bond is formed can a therapist begin to identify what emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are surrounding each case of reported loneliness.
“By focusing on understanding our patients perceive their lack of meaningful connections, we can help them explore and understand how their social needs are not—or maybe even in some cases, are—being met,” he explained.
“Loneliness is a deeply human experience. It’s not something that we just want to treat away entirely. Instead, our goal as clinicians and therapists is to understand its nuances and help patients uncover aspects of their loneliness that may be outside of awareness, so that they can try out new approaches, or have greater access to capacities that already exist within themselves, but that they previously felt were off-limits or out of reach.”
In short, by helping clients define their loneliness more clearly, therapists can use that definition to help clients try new approaches to addressing their symptoms.
Discovering What’s Hindering Connection in Therapy
Dr. Pitman explained that a therapist’s task is to “find out what’s standing in the way of connection.” He went on to review a few reminders for clinicians when they approach each case.
- Loneliness is a Human Experience: Loneliness is a part of the human experience. Only after acknowledging this can therapists dive deeper into other contributors, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, substance use, or family dynamics.
- Addressing Cognitive Distortions and Social Anxiety: Therapy and medication can help individuals work through these key issues to build healthier and more fulfilling social connections.
- Recognizing the Societal Context of Loneliness: Systemic, institutional, or societal barriers can also contribute to feelings of isolation. Therapists must be aware of their own biases and positions of authority to create an inclusive, supportive environment for healing.
Beyond One-on-One Therapy
In closing, Dr. Pitman outlined several forms of group therapy that intensive outpatient programs can provide young adults, including social groups, process groups, and skill-building groups – all designed to help clients navigate moments of disconnection and build interpersonal skills. As an online IOP program, Dr. Seery and Dr. Pitman also emphasized the importance of somatic therapy, movement, and in-person connection as part of a treatment plan.
A few of the groups that The Austen Riggs Center Online IOP employs in treatment include:
- Resilience through Relationship: A process group that focuses on interpersonal connection.
- Yoga and Mindfulness: A group designed to break Zoom fatigue and reconnect patients with their bodies.
- Skills within Stories: A coping skills group to help patients develop emotional resilience.
What Comes First – Recovery or Connection?
For young adults who are resistant to therapy groups, or therapy in general, Partner & Chief Clinical Officer of The Dorm, Amanda Fialk, PhD, LCSW, LICSW, also joined in the conversation to offer insight into our research at The Dorm which shows a strong correlation between self-efficacy and friendships made during treatment (whether those relationships are formed in groups or in social clubs).
Treating Loneliness Through Social Connection
Dr. Fialk described that in the treatment field, the prevailing thought is that if clinicians treat depression, anxiety, trauma, or substance use, loneliness will get better. This can be true, but through our research at The Dorm she noted that treating loneliness can alleviate symptoms of those conditions as well.
“This is good news!,” she said. “It gives us more tools for treating clients. Some of our clients resist traditional treatments like DBT because they’ve done them so many times. What our research shows is that focusing on connection—through community involvement or social activities—can lead to significant improvements. Joining a social group, playing pickleball, or participating in a club can lead to corrective emotional experiences and improved connections.”
The bottom line she noted, is that it’s important to address symptoms from multiple perspectives and a community-based model of care gives clinicians a lot of power to approach symptoms of loneliness through social groups, community involvement, family therapy, and interpersonal relationship building. In short: “There’s power in evidence-based treatment, and there’s also power in joy and laughter with peers.”
In Conclusion
At the heart of the loneliness epidemic in young adults is a complex interplay of attachment styles, social dynamics, and developmental transitions. While chronic loneliness can have serious consequences, understanding its root causes through therapeutic interventions offers hope for young adults struggling with disconnection.
By integrating community-building strategies and providing individualized care, mental health professionals can help young adults navigate loneliness and foster healthier, more meaningful relationships.
