Inside The Dorm’s Parent Process Group

An Interview with the Director of Admissions at The Dorm.

At The Dorm, we not only offer a variety of services to the clients we serve, but also ensure that their families and loved ones are able to have a space to heal and grow alongside them. One of such spaces is our Parent Process Group. This group gives support and feedback to parents and family members of clients at The Dorm, from peers going through similar experiences, in an open-style format to cover the group’s needs. Read on to see more insights into the group from the group facilitator.

Director of Admissions: The Parent Process Group offers families of current Dorm clients a space to process their feelings about having a loved one beginning treatment at The Dorm—whether it’s hearing difficult news, dealing with slow progress, or celebrating improvements.

Many families have been down this road before, so what’s going to be different this time around? Families can speak to their anxieties and fears around starting this new treatment, and how to handle all the information they’re receiving. We give the family an opportunity to talk about many things, as it’s open-ended and has no set pattern. 

It meets every Wednesday at 6:00pm ET virtually and is facilitated by myself and Joe Parker, LCSW, Clinical Supervisor as co-facilitator. It’s a smaller group consisting only of family members of active Dorm clients, especially those who have just begun treatment with The Dorm. Parents usually begin their Dorm experience in this group and stay for around four to eight weeks, depending on the level of care their loved one is at.

The Dorm: When is it appropriate for a family member to attend this group, or when do you suggest it?

Director of Admissions: I suggest it in the beginning, within a week of the client being here; as that’s the most vulnerable and anxiety-provoking time for the client and parent. I get many comments like “Is this going to work?” and “How are they doing?” They continue to have so many questions about what’s going on. 

A key time is a couple of weeks into treatment, when we start to hear comments such as “I don’t see any progress” or “we’re coming up against a lot of resistance patterns in treatment.” When families begin to express these feelings, you really have to work with them on their own projection and anxiety—even sometimes at 8 weeks they’re still feeling anxious. I often hear families trying to understand why they haven’t seen much progress, and to that I reassure them by saying that it’s still early, and that noticeable change and progress take time.

The Dorm: You addressed this a little bit already, but why do you think it’s valuable for a family member to attend this group?

Director of Admissions: The Parent Process Group allows families to know that they have a place to share their worries, especially when they have other parents there that have gone through similar things. They can give some feedback to each other, which is a valuable addition to their group experience because the feedback comes from a peer who knows what they’re going through. All the families in this group also have clients at The Dorm.

It’s also helpful for family members to be exposed to different parenting styles. A lot of parents learn how to parent from their parents, who learned how to parent from their parents, so there’s sometimes a generational theme around parenting, where they either parent in the exact same way or the totally opposite way of their own parents. We try to help them to recognize what a middle ground might look like and how to support their loved one as a unique individual.

The Dorm: We offer a couple different parent/family groups. How is this one unique and different?

Director of Admissions: This is a process group, where families can talk about their own feelings, versus a skills-based or psycho-educational group. For example, other groups we offer include the Parent DBT Skills Group, where families can learn different skills to use for themselves and for their loved ones, and the Parent Collective, which is a webinar where we offer guided psychoeducational information. 

This group is only open to families who have a client actively participating at The Dorm, and their loved one is usually towards the beginning of their treatment journey here. Each group has a different approach and different types of focus, and this one is really to help family members process their own feelings on their loved one starting at The Dorm, and to provide a place to be able to share so they don’t feel like they’re alone. 

For example, if a loved one was hospitalized prior to joining us here, parents can openly share what that experience was like for them—the fear, the uncertainty, and the emotional toll. Other parents who’ve been through similar situations can offer support, sharing how they coped, how they maintained self-care, stayed resilient, and upheld healthy boundaries.

The Dorm: Continuing on some of the themes you’ve seen, were there any common topics that have recurred as you’ve facilitated?

Director of Admissions: A main theme I see is how anxiety-provoking this process is for families, especially towards the beginning of this new chapter for them. Sometimes they fear letting go of their loved one, wanting to hover over the client, because they feel that if they’re not involved, their loved one won’t make progress. 

So we support them as their young adult reaches adulthood and family dynamics change, helping them understand their own mental health and how to respond to it. 

The Dorm: So your role as facilitator is to help them make sense of their own feelings, is that correct?

Director of Admissions: Absolutely. My goal is to guide them to stay focused on themselves and their feelings. Families have a tendency of wanting to talk about their loved one and focus the conversation all on the young adult client. My job is to allow them to share what’s been going on with their loved one, then shift it back to how they felt about that and what was going on in their mind, taking a more active approach in helping families process their experience. I like to remind them that the focus has almost always been on their loved one, and that this is a time to talk about them and how they can take care of themselves.

The Dorm: Do you have any final thoughts that you would like to share about this group?

Director of Admissions: I believe this group is incredibly valuable for parents, and they appreciate that it focuses entirely on them. For many, it’s the first time they’ve been offered space in this way. While families have various groups to choose from, each offering something different, they consistently prioritize attending these sessions. They often rearrange their schedules—whether it’s during dinner or right after work—because they genuinely want to be there. The level of engagement is always high, and I make it a point to commend them for the sacrifice and commitment they show in making time for themselves.

Thank you to our Director of Admissions for sharing their experience as leader of the Parent Process Group! 

The Dorm offers intensive outpatient support for young adults in New York City and Washington, D.C. For more information on family services, check out our Family Therapy approach. Curious about other family groups? Read an interview with the clinical leader of our Family Support Group.